


Where Loyalties Lie

by aubadenovella



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars
Genre: After care, Ben Solo - Freeform, Choking, Dirty Talk, Eating out, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Getting eaten out, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Angst, Light Sub/Dom, PDA, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Use of the Force, face fucking, kylo ren sex, kylo ren smut, smacking, spitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aubadenovella/pseuds/aubadenovella
Summary: Time Span: After the events of The Last JediYou’re a praetorian guard - guard of Supreme Leader Snoke -, however after the events of The Last Jedi, you’ve been thrown into the dirt. You feel worthless. But then, after a confusing re encounter with Kylo Ren, your feelings are subject to change. You’ll soon understand the power he has over you.
Relationships: kylo ren x reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya. This is a relatively mature book. I suggest, if you are below a certain age or uncomfortable with anything in the tags, that you don’t read.  
> If you’re all good with everything, then please read on and enjoy!

Hi. This book is still a work in progress. I really hope you enjoy it and stay patient with me as I continue to write. Thank you! 


	2. A Force To Be Reckoned With

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly, you feel the weight of the air hammer against your wounds, as two stormtroopers encounter you lying helpless in a random hallway, and lift you up, carefully avoiding touching your wounds. You weren't sure where you were. After all that had happened, you just wanted to escape.

Lying defenceless on the floor, curled up on your side in agony, your mind flashes with memories of the incident... of the throne room; of Kylo Ren; of that scavenger; of the pain you endured due to your loyalty. Ha! Loyalty. You know loyalty. But, clearly, Kylo Ren does not. He turned his back on the Supreme Leader, murdering him and then slaughtering his guards alongside that girl! Bet he thinks he'll get away with it too. Well, not on your watch. He may be powerful and strong but he will be punished. You'll make sure of it. 

Suddenly, you feel the weight of the air hammer against your wounds, as two stormtroopers encounter you lying helpless in a random hallway, and lift you up, carefully avoiding touching your wounds. You weren't sure where you were. After all that had happened, you just wanted to escape. Moments earlier, Kylo Ren had struck his red lightsaber across the side of your stomach and hit your back with the hilt of it. He must have assumed you would either die by yourself, or you were injured enough that he could deal with you later. Clearly, he thought wrong, because you'd managed to gather all your strength to your drag yourself out of the throne room and to some form of safety, wherever that was. You still weren't 100% sure where you were, but you felt relatively safe in the arms of the stormtroopers, no matter how inferior their fighting abilities were to yours. Stormtroopers. Ha! Can't shoot for shit. You assumed they were taking you to the med bay, but you didn't have much time to assess your surroundings completely before you became unconscious, completely melting into arms of the troopers as you lost all the strength you had to hold yourself up. 

When you awakened, you were lying on a hospital bed. You were right. They'd taken you to the med bay. You looked down and saw the gash on the side of your stomach covered in bandages, the wound having pretty much cauterised itself due to the heat of Kylo Ren's lightsaber. The lower half of your body was still wearing your uniform, meanwhile, all that was covering your top was your bra. You wriggled slightly and felt the bruise on your back ache as your back repositioned itself on the bed. Your helmet was still on but all you wanted to do was tear it off to breathe deeper breaths than you ever had before. But you couldn't out of your loyalty to the Supreme Leader. His guards were his and only his. They belonged to him, existing to serve him and only ever seen in full uniform. Your missing top was out of order enough. 

As your eyes fluttered between open and shut, you heard the whoosh of a hatch opening. You looked up to see a doctor striding through the hatch, datapad in hand. He couldn't see you were awake as your eyes were covered by your helmet, so you vocalised, in a raspy voice, 'How's the Supreme Leader?'. You already knew the answer seeing as only moments ago you'd seen a lightsaber strike through his waist, but you felt obligated to ask anyway. 

'Dead' the doctor responded blatantly. 'All the other Praetorian guards too'. He looked up. 'You're the only one left'. 

Your head fell to its side as you took in the information. The only one left. Fuck! You knew what that meant. Nobody but you knew what really happened. Kylo Ren could easily lie and blame the girl for the incident, or escape having no one ever know the truth. You couldn't let that happen. You went to open your mouth and request General Hux's presence, someone's presence, any superior officer's presence. But before the could say anything, the doctor was gone and you were left motionless, unable to move or sit up, even struggling to breathe, the burn of the gash in your side aching. You were dazed and confused, lost in a trail of thoughts. What time was it? How long were you unconscious? How bad were your injuries? When were you going to return to your job? But the question that played on your mind the most, the one you just couldn't get out of your head was where is Kylo Ren? Surely he'd recognized you'd escaped. I mean, Snoke had plenty of guards but not too many that you wouldn't notice if one was missing. He must have seen you leaving? Heard the elevator door closing? Something. Or maybe he just didn't care. Maybe he was already gone and off with that scavenger. His loyalty to the first order had been shot to hell in your eyes. Either way, you didn't feel completely safe in the empty medbay. 

That night, you laid awake in bed, unable to sleep due to your uneasiness on previous events, your mind constantly wandering back to Kylo Ren. The questions you had about your future repeated themselves over and over again in your head, but after replaying for hours, they were halted by the sudden burning sensation coming from the gash on the side of your stomach, this time just as painful as when the lightsaber first struck there. Your wound was bleeding through, clearly not fully cauterised. You called out for the doctor but to no avail. Thankfully, you knew how to treat your own wounds due to basic training. You reached for the bundle of bandages on the table next to you. They were close but not close enough. You stretched your arm out as far you could, whimpering at the pain your wound was causing. It felt like you were using all you strength to reach out. Almost there. Crash! You're body rolled off the hospital bed, landing directly on your bloody, bandaged wound. You barely gathered enough strength to roll onto your back. A piece of your helmet, covering your left eye had broken off and you were left on the floor, in agonising pain, with no doctor, nurse or even a trainee in sight. All alone... or so you thought.

You were in a daze, the pain your only focus, but still slightly aware of your surroundings. You were unable to move your head to look when you heard the sound of the hatch opening again. The doctor! At last, you thought. But no. The mountainous figure that had just charged through that door was no doctor, no saviour of lives but pure, solid destruction. You could tell it was him, Kylo Ren, from the way his boots hit the floor. You had become familiar with that sound when you were fighting for your life against him. The hatch closed shut. You felt vulnerable and weak. Helpless. Then, all of a sudden, a pressure was forced upon your neck, crushing your windpipe, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. Every piece of your remaining strength was being directed towards your breathing, your body fighting for air. The pain mixed the lack of air caused a tear to roll down your flushing pink cheek. Your death appeared imminent. You couldn't die like this, vulnerable at the hands of Kylo Ren. Just another expendable guard in his eyes. Another issue to be dealt with. You wanted him to see you when the light faded from your eyes. You wanted him to hear that last gasp for breath leave your lungs. You wanted him to remember the death he caused. You redirected your strength to turning your head to face Kylo Ren. Your head struggled as you turned against the force until you were facing him, the crack in your helmet allowing your eyes to meet. His arm was outstretched towards you, his long dark waves falling in front of his face. His eyes were filled with rage, anger and frustration and then all at once... guilt. His eyes opened wide and the pressure left your neck. He retracted his formerly outstretched arm. You rolled onto your side, gasping for air, the air like a drug you couldn't get enough of. Tears streamed down your face like an endless waterfall. Colour returning to your lips you drank in the air you'd been starved of and slowly turned your head upwards to face him. Why? What was going on in Kylo Ren's mind? Why had he shown you mercy? You were so confused. You looked at him, a burning fire in your eyes. You wanted him to look back but he didn't. Instead, he stared at the floor appearing... empty. Lost. Then a fire appeared in him, a fury. He breathed in heavy, his shoulder's broadening with a deep breath and he charged back out of the hatch. As the metal clang of the hatch announced Kylo Ren's departure, you rolled onto your back and continued to lay there perplexed at the outcome of your interaction with Kylo Ren.


	3. Rate The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, that night you laid awake, staring at the ceiling, mind racing with thoughts and questions you'd asked a million times over. Honestly, you were getting bored of your own mind. You needed to get out. You needed to talk to someone other than that fucking doctor. You needed to talk to... to Kylo Ren.

The next morning, the doctor finally arrived for your check-up and found you lying helpless on the cold floor of the med bay, your wound partially exposed, bleeding, bandages sprawled out around you, your cheeks still marked with salty tears. He called out for two stormtroopers and a nurse. The stormtroopers lifted you carefully onto the bed, the pressure applied to your bruised back causing you to squirm. The nurse was then ordered to redress your wound. The whole time you remained silent, your mind continuing to run wild with thoughts about Kylo Ren. 

For the next 2 weeks, you remained pretty much silent, only talking when asked questions by the doctor or nurses like "How do you feel on a scale of 1-10?". Honestly, you felt like a minimum of 8 constantly, even with the numbness of your mind partially drowning out the pain, but you continued to say "6" for a week and then "4" the Monday of the next week, and then finally, after 2 weeks you said "I feel better. A 2 if that". You knew that the quicker they thought you'd recovered, the quicker you'd be allowed to return to work. Plus, the pain wasn't that bad. At least, not as bad as the pain you felt when Kylo Ren was crushing your windpipe with the intention to kill you. On the day you responded to the pain rating with a 2, the doctor declared you fit to get back on your feet. He hadn't said anything about work yet but you knew you'd be back soon. They couldn't go without one of their best guards for too long. 

You spent that day essentially learning to walk again. Each time you put pressure on your left leg, the side you wound was on, the gash on your stomach would cause your leg to buckle due to the pain. You didn't tell the nurses that though. You breathed through the agonising pain and continued to limp across the hallway. When you made it to the end of the hall, with no help, the nurse congratulated you and insisted you return to bed to continue working on it tomorrow. You didn't want to but you knew if you did as you were told, you'd get out of the goddamn med bay faster.

Once again, that night you laid awake, staring at the ceiling, mind racing with thoughts and questions you'd asked a million times over. Honestly, you were getting bored of your own mind. You needed to get out. You needed to talk to someone other than that fucking doctor. You needed to talk to... to Kylo Ren. You needed answers. No. You deserved answers, especially after what he did to you, although you were unsure as to whether any answer he gave would justify his actions. You were unsure as to whether he'd give you any answers at all or just try to kill you again. No sleep. None. All lost on Kylo fucking Ren.

The next morning, you complied to the same routine: open your eyes from pretending to sleep; take your meds; eat your breakfast; rate your pain (this morning you said 1); go out into the hallway and continue recovery. You walked up and down the hallway what felt like a million times. You were eager to return to work so you could fight again. After all, it was what you were good at. 

"One more time." said the nurse. One more time. Ha! She'd said that every time you'd reach the end of the hallway. You continued to comply with her requests.

"Why am I doing this anyway?" you asked. "I fight people every day. It's my job. Walking is hardly a challenge compared to that". You continued walking, with you back to her, up the hallway.

"Was your job." she exclaimed, emphasising the word 'was'. 

"What?!" you shouted, your head turning sharply to face her. You charged over to her to demand answers but before you could get to her, you heard the clunking of stormtrooper boots walking behind you. You turned back to see who they were accompanying. It was General Hux. You knew what you were going to do. You strode over to General Hux, fastening your pace with every step. When you got close enough, you stood in front of the troopers and Hux, using every part of your body to block their exit. Hux looked up from his datapad, his stare looming past the shoulder's of the troopers stood in front of him, and locked eyes with you. 

"When will I return to my duty?" you said calmly. He didn't answer but chuckled under his breath. "General Hux. When will I be allowed back to work, sir," you said calmly but louder than before. Once again, he chuckled and rolled his eyes. You lost your temper. "Answer me," you screamed at him, demanding an answer.

"I wouldn't use that tone with me again" he suggested aggressively. You tucked your head into your neck slightly and took a deep breath to calm yourself down, before looking up at him again. "You won't be returning to duty." he said with a smug look on his face. "Supreme Leader Snoke is dead. As you know, you served him and only him which means there is now no need for you". 

"But I... I... I can fight. I'm the best. You know I'm the best". you said, voice crescendoing with each word.

"Yes, you're good. But, unfortunately, your loyalties lie solely with the Supreme Leader." he said, his stare finally leaving your eyes, moving down to looking at your leg. "You appear to be recovering quickly Y/N. When you're fully recovered, we will determine your reassignment. It appears your time with us is almost over." And with that, he continued his walk as the stormtroopers accompanying him moved you out of the way. 

Reassignment? Reassignment? Your thoughts grew louder with each repetition of the word until they were spitting themselves out of your mouth. "Reassignment? You've got to be kidding me.", you shouted down the hallway at Hux. "A reassignment to some shitty location to do some shitty job all because of fucking Kylo Ren!". You realised what you'd said and instantly became silent, sealing your mouth shut.

"What about Kylo Ren?" Hux said, turning back towards you to meet your eye line. He broke from the ring of stormtroopers surrounding him and strode towards you. Inches away from you he screamed, "What about him?". He towered over you, demanding answers. 

You tucked your head down into your neck and said quietly "Nothing".

"Nothing. What do you mean nothing? Why did you say that if there's nothing to be said." He had you cornered. You didn't know what to respond with so you went with the most embarrassing response ever.

"I guess I was just looking for someone to blame. Commander Ren did nothing".

With that answer, he was gone, and you were left questioning yourself. Why in the world didn't you tell him? You wanted him to know. You wanted Kylo Ren to be punished for his actions! But then again, maybe you didn't. Maybe you should show him the mercy he showed you if you could call that mercy. Plus, what had The First Order done for you recently? Betray you after years of loyalty to them and the Supreme Leader. Let Kylo Ren be there downfall. Let him lead them to destruction. After all, it wasn't like he'd done you any harm since the night he tried to kill you. Let's call that progress. But then again, you hadn't seen him since then either. Was he even still on the Finalizer? Maybe he'd fled after being unable to kill you. Maybe that's why Hux was so eager for you to answer him. Maybe him being gone would fix some of your problems. You'd be able to sleep again. But then, at the same time, deep down, you didn't want him gone. You were still after answers and still so confused as to why he showed you mercy.


	4. Invasive Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You looked up, vision still blurred, but you still able to make out the shape of his mask... Kylo Ren's mask.

After your encounter with General Hux, you were furious. Heart palpitating, you strode off in the opposite direction of Hux, each footstep slamming down on the ground in fury. You were releasing the pent up aggression you'd just had to conceal while talking to Hux. You knew an outburst in front of him would only land you an ass-kicking off the finalizer quicker.

As you walked down the hallway with large strides, leg slightly buckling on each step, you punched the walls you passed, leaving nothing but a pain in your hand. At least the pain was distracting from the agony caused by the gash on your stomach. A gash Kylo Ren had caused. God! Why can't you get him out of your mind? Why did you keep his actions a secret? 

"I was wondering the same thing." said a strong, powerful voice out of nowhere responding to your thoughts.

What? You looked up from the floor you'd been furiously staring at and saw his face for a split second before collapsing onto the floor.

You were in a haze, vision blurry, your mind only able to make out shapes and faint sounds. You felt your back arching as you were lifted off the ground by sturdy arms. You felt leather against your back and fingers curled around your waist. You looked up, vision still blurred, but you still able to make out the shape of his mask... Kylo Ren's mask. Kylo Ren was carrying your injured, half-conscious body in his arms, cradling you. Why? You wondered. It was an unusual feeling to be carried by him. You felt scared and anxious and yet safe at the same time. His clothes felt cold and he felt warm. You floated in and out of consciousness, completely unaware of your surroundings. You were at Kylo Ren's complete mercy. Completely vulnerable to him. He could've killed you. He still might. What if he's carrying you somewhere secret to kill you? What if he - 

"I'm not going to kill you," he said, stopping your thoughts in their tracks. All this thought listening felt somewhat invasive but you didn't care. You were too weak to get mad at it. Before you knew it, you were back unconscious, drifting weightlessly in the arms of Kylo Ren, a man who'd already tried to kill you twice and now you were being cradled in his arms. 

When you woke up, your mind took a while to refocus. Your brain reminded itself of what had just happened. You were still in shock. Kylo Ren was nowhere in sight but from what you could see, you weren't in the med bay. Where had he taken you? You felt comfortable. Then you realised your top was off and your trousers were now your only show of modesty. Your bare back was soothed rather than screaming out in pain against the hard mattresses of the med bay. Ouch! Your gash stung and you cried out in pain, gripping the sheets. The sheets? In the guards quarters, we had thin blankets - nothing like this. The bed sheets were soft and plush. They gave some relief to the pain of your wound. You looked down at the gash on your stomach and saw no bandaging. An open wound with a needle and thread stuck into the skin. 

What was going on? Where were you? That's when you saw it. Kylo Ren's helmet lying on the end of the bed, his lightsaber positioned next to it. And then he came in. Kylo Ren walked in and over to a drawer. He hadn't noticed I was awake. He opened the stainless steel drawer and took out some bandages. How did he know where things were? Oh god! This was his room. You were lying on Kylo Ren's bed in Kylo Ren's bedroom in Kylo Ren's quarters. An uncomfortable feeling came over you as you laid there completely vulnerable. Then he walked over to you and knelt beside the bed. You stared at him for a while before he looked up at you and saw your eyes half open, still hazy from your former unconsciousness. 

"You're awake," he said in a factual tone, his eyes meeting yours, his face remaining emotionless.

"Yes, I -". Your response was stopped by a sudden gasp from your mouth. You're gash stung again. Kylo Ren looked down at your leg and back up at you before standing up. He walked into what you assumed was a bathroom and returned with a wet cloth. 

As he walked back in he said "You've been putting too much pressure on your wound too quickly. A fast recovery is only good if you actually recover" He smirked on the second sentence. "You're wound must have reopened itself".

"That's why I collapsed" you replied, shocked the amount of conversation this interaction consisted of.

"Yes," he said as he carefully dabbed the wet cloth on your stomach, clearing up the blood, earning a soft whimper from you. You were surprised by how gentle he was being with you seeing as the last time you'd seen him he'd tried to kill you.

When he was done cleaning your wound, he placed his right hand to your lips and said'Take it off.' You bit the tip of his glove and he pulled his hand out. You did the same with the other. He bundled the gloves together and placed them in your mouth and said 'Bite." He took the needle in his hand. Next thing you knew he was sewing up your wound, each jab of the needle causing you to cry into the rag. He stitched you up, holding your leg to keep you from squirming. The more you squirmed the stronger his grip on you got, his fingers curling into your skin. You were sure his grip would leave bruises. As his grip got stronger so did your grip on the bedsheets. Suddenly, you felt another sting as the needle pressed into your skin. This sting was too strong though. Out of nowhere, your hand grabbed his wrist and he pulled away from your wound.

"It's okay. I'm done". He looked down at his handy work before grabbing some bandages. He placed the soft bandage over your wound and pressed gently, once again, causing you to whimper. He then taped up the edges, leaving your wound completely concealed. He took his gloves out of your mouth and slipped them back onto his hands, concealing his peachy skin as he had your wound. He stood and walked over to his mask, picking it up placing it over his head. Next, he reattached his lightsaber to his belt. For a moment, he stood still, arms by his side, staring at you, half-naked on his bed.

You broke the silence saying "Where are you going."

"Work" he responded, his reply simpler than you'd had liked it to be.

"Okay. What am I supposed to do?". It felt like a stupid question but then again he'd put you in a stupid situation. You weren't strong enough to walk yourself back to the med bay but surely you couldn't stay in Kylo Ren's quarters. You shouldn't have even been in there anyway.

"Stay here," he said, answering your stupid question with a stupid answer. Stay here? I couldn't. "Stay here and I'll return later". 

Before you could respond, he was striding out of the bedroom, into the hallway and out of his quarters' hatch, the sound of steel crashing together announcing his final departure. There you were left, lying in Kylo Ren's comfy, soft bed, your body sinking into the mattress. As you laid there you thought about how gentle he'd been, how kind he'd been. That wasn't the Kylo Ren you'd seen in the throne room, the Kylo Ren that killed Supreme Leader Snoke and tried to kill you. That Kylo Ren was anger and fury and hatred. This Kylo Ren was the mercy you saw in his eyes that night in the med bay and you were comforted by that. You liked that. Here, Kylo Ren was kind and warm and caring. A strange feeling came over you. It was your stomach, but it wasn't the pain of the wound. It was... butterflies. Kylo Ren was making you feel a certain way, you just weren't sure what. But, you knew you liked it.


	5. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were pissed at Kylo Ren again, his previous show of care meaning nothing to you at this moment.

You did as he said, remaining in his room for the rest of the day. You weren't sure when he'd return seeing as his schedule wasn't exactly something everyone was aware of. Throughout the day you contemplated the existence of Kylo Ren and the way he'd changed since you last saw him. You grew sick of laying there on his bed, no matter how comfortable it was. You were used to fighting every day, training and exercising. This was all too still. The lack of movement made you frustrated and you were determined to move. You then remembered what Kylo Ren said about putting pressure on your wound too quickly, but that memory soon past. Next thing you knew, you were sitting yourself up on the bed, your restless legs eager to touch the floor. You swivelled yourself around, placed your feet on the ground, gripped onto the side table for stability and lifted yourself off the bed. You stumbled at first, your mind going dizzy. You weren't going to go far, just maybe down the hallway and back, not wanting to upset Kylo Ren by disobeying his orders. Stumbling out into the hallway, you kept your balance, leaning against walls and gripping door frames, stabilising yourself as you did so. You walked without a destination, freely roaming around Kylo Ren's quarters. 

You weren't sure how you ended up there, but you did. Now in the bathroom, you acknowledged the dark grey tiling and steel bath and shower. There were no shampoo bottles, sponges, anything. It was obvious he liked to keep things neat and tidy but this was a new level. The bathroom was sparse. You felt your dizziness return and placed yourself on the edge of the bath to rest your body. Your eyes were focused on the ground, seeing as your mind was struggling to accept the idea of dimension. The blank, flat floor was helping you restabilise your mind. You stood up again. As you rose your eyes met your own in a tall mirror opposite you. You could see yourself and you hated what you saw. You looked weak, pathetic. Your eyes were red and tired, your body hunched over in pain, leaning up against the wall. Your leg was bruised by Kylo Ren's grip, your bandaged wound exaggerating your weakness. Suddenly, heaps of fury washed over you as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Your breathing grew heavier with each thought. You were pathetic. Destroyed. There was nothing left of you... He'd done this to you. 

You were pissed at Kylo Ren again, his previous show of care meaning nothing to you at this moment. You stood up straight, moving your weight off the wall and on to your legs, finding your balance. The fury within you built and your body suddenly found a surge of adrenaline. Your hand curled into a tight fist and launched itself at the mirror, releasing part of the anger in you. The reflective surface violently broke under the force of your fist, shards flying across the bathroom. You didn't know where the strength had come from, but you liked it. You felt strong and powerful again like you did when you were fighting, but that fury was still within you, that hatred. You wanted back at Kylo Ren. You wanted him to pay but he was nowhere near. You wanted to do something to anger him, even a little. You stormed off into his bedroom, carrying a shard of the mirror in your hand. The ache of your wound was practically extinguished by your level of fury. When you arrived in his bedroom, you looked around and saw his bedsheets. You remembered the feeling of the bedsheets, how soft and plush they were before you stormed over to them, tearing them apart with the shard. As you tore into the sheets, you sobbed, part screaming, part crying. You weren't angry anymore. You were sad. 

Your screams were so loud you didn't hear the sound of the hatch closing or the sound of Kylo Ren's footsteps coming up behind you. You were only alerted of his presence when he grabbed your wrists, pulling them back from the bed. He turned you around to face him, his mask still covering his face. You felt pathetic. There he was staring at your tearful eyes and your weak body. He took the shard out of your hand and threw it to the corner of the room, before returning his eyes to meet yours. He has restrained your wrists, but once again you were furious. You wriggled violently, attempting to free yourself from his possession. He remained still and sturdy, his strong figure unimpacted by your attempt to break free. 

"Why didn't you just kill me?" you spat at him, tears rolling down your face. "Look at me. I'm pathetic. I'd be better of dead." Those words left him in what appeared like a shock when he moved back slightly. Slowly, your energy descended and your ability to struggle against his grip on you disappeared. Your legs gave way, but your focus remained on Kylo Ren's mask, as he released one of your wrists, moving his hand to the small of your back, supporting you. He was careful not to touch the sensitive bruising he'd caused. He released your other wrist too, using his hand to unlock the latches on his mask and remove it. His loose waves freed themselves from the mask, dangling in front of his eyes.

He looked into your eyes and said, gently "I couldn't". He couldn't what? Kill me? He was perfectly capable in his attempt in the throne room. What was he talking about? "I couldn't do it when I saw your eyes." My eyes? "I've always found killing easy, even when I can see their face. But with you - god - your eyes, your face... I just couldn't do it." Maybe it wasn't mercy that stopped Kylo Ren that night. Maybe it was something else. 

You found his hand that wasn't supporting you moving up your side, avoiding touching your skin but delicately hovering over it. Then you felt the leather of his gloves brush against your skin as he caressed your blushing cheek, wiping away the tears as he did so. You eyes never lost his, constantly remaining locked on each other. He applied pressure to the small of your back as he pulled you in closer. You let him. You weren't sure why but you desired to be close to him, to feel his warmth. With one of the fingers caressing your cheek, he tucked your hair behind your ear. Your chests were now touching each other. Even under his heavy layers of clothing, you could feel the rise and fall of his chest, taking heavy breaths. 

"I can protect you," he said. Protect you? Protect you from what? After all, he was the only one who'd done you any harm recently. And then suddenly, all at once, those thoughts were stopped as he pushed his lips against yours with a passion. You melted into him, your body turning to jelly. He held you up stronger. Your lips and tongues battled with each other for what felt like an eternity, but you weren't complaining. Your hands slowly moved up and your palms rested against his chest, fingers gripping into the fabric of his clothes. You expected his to push you away, rejecting your touch but instead, he pulled you closer. Your bodies were forced against each other. You had so many questions to ask him, but they all fluttered away at the feeling of his lips against yours. Then, after a while, his lips left yours, leaving you hungry. You opened your eyes and once again saw him staring back at you. What did he say about your eyes? He appeared infatuated with them, as though he was admiring each individual spec in your iris, watching as your pupil expanded, as you admired him. 

"You'll stay here tonight. I can't carry you back to the med bay without getting caught." Why did he care about getting caught? Maybe this was to do with Hux's questions. Next thing you knew, Kylo Ren was sweeping his arms under your legs, supporting your back as he did so. You curled up into his arms, absorbing his warmth. Somehow still holding you, he pulled to bedsheets off the bed, the stuffing of the cover flying out of the fabric. He gently placed you onto the bed, rolling you out of his arms and onto the soft mattress. He then left the room momentarily, returning with new bedsheets, which he put over you, ensuring every inch of you was covered by the plush fabric. He leant in and kissed you delicately on your forehead, his lips soft against your skin, before standing up straight. He gazed at you for a moment and then turned to leave.

"You're not staying?" you said, sounding desperate, wanting him to stay with you. 

He looked back over his shoulder. "Not tonight," he said with a warm tone. He never sounded like that. His voice was only ever firm or aggressive or covered by his voice modifier, but you liked this voice, this comforting voice.

And with that, he was gone, turning off the lights as he exited into the dark hallway. You were unsure as to where exactly he was staying. You weren't aware of any other bedroom but you knew he was staying in his quarters for the night, otherwise, you would have heard the hatch.

There you laid, once again, in Kylo Ren's bed, anger and hatred completely defused. Under the care of Kylo, you felt safe. That was strange. You'd never called him just Kylo before, but you liked it. Kylo sounded softer and more like the Kylo you'd just experienced. Kylo was caring, good, protective. Protective? He wanted to protect you. You were still unsure as to what he meant by that but it didn't trouble your mind for very long. Within minutes, you'd drifted to sleep, succumbing to the power of the plush bed.


	6. Intimidating Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You couldn't help but imagine the shirt imitating the bed sheets you were under, imagine his fists grasping the sheets as he - "You whimpered".

The next morning you awoke to find yourself still lying in Kylo's bed, his warm blanket draped over you, your head nuzzled into the soft pillow. You'd had the best sleep you'd ever experienced, with no alarm to wake you up for duties and no pain causing you to toss the turn. The pain? You lifted up the blanket quickly to get a quick look at your bandage covered wound. You pressed it slightly to try and find any sensitivity but you were met with none. Surely you couldn't have recovered overnight with the help of some water and stitching. Curiosity led to you peeling off the tape from around the edges of the bandage, each tug pulling out tiny hairs. You peeped under the lifted corner of the bandage but couldn't see anything. Maybe it was too dark. As you continued to peel off the bandage, gradually exposing what should be more of your wound, you continued to find nothing. You tore off the bandage entirely until your entire waist was exposed and saw almost nothing remaining of your wound. There was a strange denting from where the lightsaber had cut into your flesh and the remaining marks of Kylo's amateur stitches. With your head poked under the covers, analysing the marking on your waist, you considered every possible reasoning as to how you recovered so quickly from such a huge injury. Then, after considering every justifiable reason you could think of, you heard a voice. 

"Force healing," said the voice in a monotonous tone. You threw your head out from under the cover as you jumped at the sound of it. It was Kylo. Of course, it was. Who else would be in Kylo Ren's quarters, except Kylo and - oh yeah - you. Your mind drifted for a moment, as you revelled at the idea of being welcomed into Commander Kylo Ren's quarters and being told to lie in his bed, enjoy his warm sheets and... You were reminded of the kiss you too shared the previous night, the warmth of it, how delicate he was and yet passionate. A small smirk grew on Kylo's unmasked face. He'd heard you. You'd forgotten he could do that, forgotten that even your mind was completely vulnerable to him, something so private and yet so exposed to Kylo Ren. 

"Huh?" was the only thing able to escape your mouth as you were entranced by Kylo's features and the memory of the intimacy you shared. You propped yourself up, edging to rest your back against the headboard of the bed.

"Force healing," he repeated, slowly walking closer to you. "My connection with the force has many downfalls but also many benefits, this being one of them." As he passed the dresser on the left side of the bed, he swiftly opened the drawer and pulled out a dark grey t-shirt, half bunched up in his hand. He continued to move closer to you, closing the drawer as he left the area. His walk was intimidating, his strong glides leaving you feeling cornered and helpless and yet completely safe and secure. 

He perched himself on the side of the bed, back to you, holding the bunched up fabric in his powerful hands. You couldn't help but imagine the shirt imitating the bed sheets you were under, imagine his fists grasping the sheets as he - "You whimpered". 

"What?" you replied. Oh god had he heard your fantasizing. 

"As you slept. Your wound was causing you pain. All I could hear all night was the sound of you tossing and turning." A sigh of relief escaped you. He turned to you and moved your arms upwards. You held your arms still, like a lifeless doll, unsure of what he was doing. He then took the shirt and put it on your, guiding your arms into the sleeves and he pulled it down, covering you. "It was unbearable, so I healed you with the force." he said in a monotonous voice, turning his body back to face the wall, disguising whether or not it was unbearable because he didn't want you to be in pain or because he simply couldn't sleep because of the noise.

"Oh. I'm - I'm sor -" you began apologizing, but he cut you off. "Don't be," he said, head turning over his shoulder to meet your gaze. You stared into each other's eyes for a moment until you felt an awkwardness take over but you were unable to break eye contact, not wanting to let go of the serenity. You were so confused as to why you were feeling like this, why you were having these thoughts. You'd been through so much throughout your life and nobody had ever looked twice at you other than to ask for a service. You'd never felt safe. Never felt joyful. Never felt anything like this. It was almost like you'd forgotten any of the pain Kylo had inflicted on you. All you could think about was the beauty within his gaze, the way his eyes were so dark and yet so bright.

"I did this to you. It was my fault and therefore my duty to fix it," he said, breaking free from your focus, returning his head to its former position, resting his chin in the hollow of his neck. His hair drooped over his face, covering his eyes, and yet you could still feel the pain within them, the guilt. Despite your display of anger and hatred the day before, you now felt something new for Kylo, having had time to think about it. For almost the entirety of both of your lives - or the life you knew of Kylo's - you'd been unshielded from the world, exposed to danger and destruction, loss and sacrifice. Nobody had ever cared about you or been there for you. You were taught to turn your back on the galaxy and protect yourself because after all, no one was going to do it for you. You thought about how had you been in Kylo's position, told to kill him by Snoke, would you have. Probably. It was your duty, just as it was his duty to himself you kill you. The only difference between you and Kylo is that you would've done it... and that terrified you. 

"No," you said, erasing your thoughts, not wanting to imagine the destruction you were capable of. You sat up more and move onto your knees, now positioned just behind Kylo, who was still sad, slumped on the edge of the bed. You could see the sadness in him as you placed you hands softly on his shoulders, waiting for a reaction, waiting for him to throw you back, rejecting your consolation, but he didn't. He accepted you, moving his left hand up and placing it on his right shoulder, covering your hand, grasping it gently as he did so. With this sign, you moved your head down onto his left shoulder, softly nuzzling your head into his neck. 

"It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you for what you did," you whispered softly against his neck. As you said the words, you felt his hand grip yours tighter as though he wanted to hold onto you forever. You found it so strange how fast all of this was happening but at the same time, everything was so clear. You felt safe with him as he did with you. After so many years of being alone, you'd both found some kind of closeness in each other, and everything else just felt natural. You could tell he'd heard you, as he looked up, and you lifted your head off his shoulder as he did. His head turned to face you, his eyes glancing down at your lips before he reached out, caressing your cheek, moving in fast to kiss you. It was passionate, with fast movements and yet slow. You took in every movement, moving your hands, placing them on his chest, grabbing at the fabric of his robe. 

One of his hands made its way down your back, pulling you down as his other hand held the back of your head. Lips still pressed furiously against yours, he guided you down until your back was flat on the bed. You sank into the mattress. Then, Kylo moved on top of you, his knees on either of your waist, his hands dug into the pillows on either side of your head, grasping the fabric, just as you'd imagined. This time he'd heard your thoughts, which were previously a fantasy, and he gripped the sheets tighter, smirking against your lips. You felt your body turn to mush under his influence, but the strength in your arms was still there. You grabbed onto the fabric at the sides of his robe and jerked him closer to you, arching your back. He smirked again, looking down, admiring your confidence. 

"Eager thing." he said, looking back up to you, before crushing his lips against yours again. You wanted more. You wanted him. He moved his lips to your neck, the warmth of them pressing gently against your skin. The feeling of his breath gave you goosebumps and caused you to roll your head to the side, giving him better access to your neck. 

"And I want you." he whispered against your skin. That made you shudder slightly. He could be sucking at your blood for all you cared if it meant you could continue to feel like this. He continued to make his way down your neck, leaving an empty feeling on each spot, as he lifted his lips up, moving to his next spot. 

"But I can't have you," he said, leaving your neck and looking into your eyes. A feeling of disappointment flushed over you. What did he mean? 

"Yet." he finished. God - why couldn't he had said that without the pause. You smiled, giggling quietly. He then moved, swinging his leg back over you, moving to be on your side, still sat on the bed. 

"General Hux wants to speak with you on the command deck in 20 minutes". he said calmly, edging off the bed. Why hadn't he told you that sooner? It takes like 20 minutes minimum to get there. 

"What? Why?" you responded, confused, seeing as your last conversation with Hux had felt pretty final. He'd told you your time was done. Was he going to talk to you about your reassignment?

"I'm not sure?" he said, picking up his mask from the table at the end of the bed. "But he wants me there too." You couldn't arrive there together at the exact same time. People would have their suspicions especially considering you'd been missing from the med bay for a night and you'd pretty much been off the radar.

"You go first. I'll give you a 5-minute head start," he said. It sounded like a game. "I'll follow after you. I can afford to be a little late."

You stood up, off the bed and adjusted yourself, tucking Kylo's baggy t-shirt into your pants to make it seem as though it was your own. You then smoothed out your hair, trying to hide the fact you'd just been wrestled to the bed and involved in a full out make-out session with a superior officer, Commander Kylo Ren. 

"It's Supreme Leader Kylo Ren now actually," he said turning to face you, his face now covered by his mask. "Now go."

You nodded and did as he said, quickly pulling on your boots and heading out of the hatch. You were disoriented at first, seeing as you'd never been down these halls before and were unsure of where you were heading. You headed in a random direction and luckily soon became aware of where you were, directing yourself towards the command deck. 

You'd been lost for a while and were worried you'd be late, or worse, arrive at the same time as Kylo. You rushed quickly, sprinting when you realised to time - 16:58 (two minutes left). You arrived at the doors to the command deck, huffing and puffing, catching your breath in big gasps, and you stood up straight in front of two stormtroopers, guarding the doors. You hadn't moved like that since the battle in the throne room and it felt good to be back on your feet, feeling the rush of movement. The stormtroopers looked at you and then moved back, opening to doors as they did. 

The command deck was just as dark as the rest of the ship, the colour scheme simply being: black, shades of grey and specs of red detailing. Walking through the entrance, you searched around the room for any sight of General Hux, watching as people busily rushed around, hearing beeps and boops. It was definitely more intellectual sounding than that but you were a warrior, a guard, not a technician. 

Then, suddenly, you heard a voice behind you say your name, the snarkiness of his voice revealing to you who it was. 

"General Hux," you said, turning around to face him, arms by your side. He was so frustrating to be around. Your last conversation had been about had left you pissed off at him and you weren't afraid to show it. 

"You requested my presence," you said, matching his snarkiness. 

"Obviously," he replied, causing your blood to boil. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here." God, you wanted so badly to throw your fist at his face and knock him to the ground. You could feel the anger in you building, however, it was quickly lowered, when you heard Kylo's footsteps enter the room, strong and hard as they hit the floor. 

"Ah, Ren. You finally decided to join us," said Hux, turning to face Kylo Ren. Kylo's view of you was blocked by Hux's slender frame and yet Kylo was completely clear to you, his body towering over Hux, asserting his power.

"Now. Follow me." said Hux, turning to his side, before marching off in the direction of another room. Once Hux had moved, Kylo saw you and held his stare for a moment before following behind Hux. You followed after him, Kylo's body breaking the air, creating a path for you to follow behind. You entered into a room with a desk and a chair. Hux closed the door behind you, creating the sound of a heavy slam as the door shut. He then walked around the desk until he met the chair, sitting down in it comfortably, elbows leaning on the desk. You and Kylo were left standing, looking at Hux while keeping your distance from each other, the tension between the two of you overly present. You were then pulled back into consciousness as Hux said your name, grabbing your attention. 

"You may remember our last encounter." Of course you did. "I discussed with you the matters of your loyalty to Supreme Leader Snoke. I also reminded you of the fact that due to his death, you were not necessary anymore," he explained. Anger built inside you again. Had he seriously just invited you here to embarrass you - to remind you that you were now essentially worthless to the First Order. 

"However" he then said, grabbing your attention again. "Circumstances have changed. With the resistance still remaining a strong threat, I have decided to revoke my previous statement. I have come to the realisation that when you signed on as a guard to Snoke, you signed on officially as a guard to the Supreme Leader. Technically, our Supreme Leader is not dead. He is standing next to you."

You looked up at Kylo Ren, remembering how he had corrected you earlier on. 

"Your loyalties now lie with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. From what I can see, you have recovered. Good. You will train a new wave of stormtroopers and create a new era of praetorian guards. I am putting my trust in you. If you for one second cause me to doubt my decision, I will follow through with your reassignment. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir" you responded, gleefully. You were going to be a leader. You were going to fight. You were going to stay. And, most importantly, you were going to serve Kylo Ren, something that surely could do nothing but work in your favour. 

"That will be all. You have new quarters assigned to you for your new position. I suggest to return to them now and prepare for your first day tomorrow." Hux said, his expressionless face never changing. 

"Thank you, sir," you said, nodding your head towards him as you left. As you crossed past, Kylo, his focus left Hux momentarily, his head turning slightly to catch a glimpse of you leaving. You continued walking, thinking about how everything felt as though it was falling into place. Life felt certain for the first time in a while. The door slammed shut behind you. You assumed that Hux and Kylo still had some sort of discussion to have and so you quickly stopped your mind from roaming onto possibilities of what was going on behind that door. As you left the doors to the command deck, you looked back at the stormtroopers with a smirk on your face, feeling superior once again, the power and confidence in you restored. You were prepared. You were ready for anything.


	7. This Feeling Was More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I need you," he said, seductively, whispering into your ear, the feeling of his breath against your skin causing you to let out a quiet moan. He smirked against your neck.

WARNING:  
This chapter contains smut - quite a bit. It's long but good. I promise. If you're uncomfortable with smut or too young, please don't read on. Thank you x

——————————————————

After arriving at your new quarters, you stood in front of the hatch astounded. You had just been put a new position, a job, a title superior to the one you'd previously had. They needed you. The first order needed you. You were one of the best fighters and they knew this. They couldn't afford to lose you. It was as if you had them in the palm of your hand. Life couldn't get much better than this. There you were, stood there, a new job, a new level of respect for yourself, a new room, a new... interest. A distracting interest, you thought momentarily. You knew your new job was going to call for all of your attention, training young future stormtroopers, breeding a select few to become Praetorian guards, to take on a role you were so familiar with. A job which in itself required risk and commitment. You couldn't risk Kylo being a distraction but then you were reminded of his lips, the feeling lingering on yours. You thought about his hands running down your chest, grasping at your waist. You remembered his hands tightly gripping the bedsheets. You remembered the power you felt when you pulled him closer to you, the way you were both so enamoured by each other. 

These thoughts continued as you opened the hatch door, stepping through it, empty-handed. All you had ever owned was your Praetorian guard uniform and a t-shirt and trousers which you were only ever allowed to wear alone. You were only ever seen in your uniform until the hospital, where you were put in baggy trousers and a loose-fitting top, that top now lying somewhere on the floor of Kylo Ren's quarters. You were reminded of the state of yourself. Loose hairs were flying out of the bun your hair was tied in; Kylo's large tucked in shirt becoming untucked; the loose trousers often slipping down your waist. You needed a shower. 

You walked further into the room. It was large with a single bed pushed up against the wall with a nightstand next to it. Positioned on the nightstand was a datapad and a lamp, the bulb hot. On the other side of the room, you saw a tall dresser, black and sleek in its appearance. On the right side of the dresser was a long, floor to ceiling mirror, which you stared into for a few seconds. You'd never been allowed a mirror. You'd been taught that mirror's taught arrogancy and pride. Looks were a distraction from the task at hand. You slowly came to the realisation of just how much you'd risen in position. You were being allowed a mirror so that you could look your best in order to help people respect you. You felt like you were being treated with respect like you were no longer the scum on the bottom and Hux and Kylo's shoes, but at a similar level to them - definitely not the same level but closer at least. You looked in the mirror and felt pride for yourself. Who said pride was all that bad? You laughed gently at the state of yourself in the mirror. "Oh, god" you murmured to yourself, quietly. You really, really needed that shower. You looked at yourself for a few more seconds, reminding yourself of what you actually looked like: how bright your eyes were; how silky your hair was; how soft your lips were. And then you heard it, amongst the sound of you indulging your own appearance. 

"Beautiful." said a voice, loud and monotonous. You jumped, spinning around, away from the mirror to be met with none other than Kylo Ren. He was looking down at you, his mask held in his arms. His eyes were looking you up and down. You still looked a mess in your eyes. "Your absolutely beautiful," he said, sounding less and less like the dark, mysterious, masked creature everyone had believed him to be and more like the Kylo you were growing to know. He walked over to the nightstand and placed his mask on it, before turning back round to face you.

"What, what are you doing here?" you asked, confused by his sudden appearance. "How'd you get in?"

"I have access to all rooms" he replied. Of course, he did. "I came in while you were observing your beauty". You laughed with a huff, moving your head down out of shame. You felt somewhat guilty for admiring yourself. "Don't," he said, placing two leather finger under your chin, lifting your head up to meet his eyes. "Don't," he repeated. You felt yourself melting into his words, in admiration of his adoration for you. And then you found yourself melting into him as he lifted your head up further, before slowly bringing his lips to yours. You felt a warmth radiate through your body, as you raised your arms up, wrapping them around his neck. You felt his hands trace the curves of your body making their way down to your ass. You felt his grip on you tighten like he was informing you of his next move. You knew. You jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist, your feet crossing over behind his back. His hold on you was sturdy as you continued you crush your lips against his, melting further and further into his body, your chests feeling each other's raise with each heavy breath. He edged his way back towards the bed until the back of his knees hit causing him to fall to sit on the edge. You were still wrapped, your legs now positioned, bent on either side of his strong thighs. Your hands slipped out from around his neck and onto the front of his chest, grasping at the fabric of his cowl. He grabbed back at the fabric of his top on you, tearing it with the sheer power of his grip. 

"I need you," he said, seductively, whispering into your ear, the feeling of his breath against your skin causing you to let out a quiet moan. He smirked against your neck. You felt his hands slip down to your lower waist before grabbing onto your top, pulling it free off of your body. You then returned your grip to his cowl, tugging at it, unsure as to what to do with all the fabric in front of you. All you knew is that you wanted it off. 

He must have heard you because the next thing he was doing was tearing his cowl off. He had layers, upon layers on. You stood up quickly off his lap, allowing him room, moving back until you were against the wall with the mirror on, watching as he unbuckled his belt, tearing it off and throwing it onto the floor; untied his robe, allowing it to fall off his shoulders and down his arms, leaving him in nothing but his underclothes. He kicked off his leather boots, and slowly pulled off each glove. There he was, standing in front of you, almost naked, his eyes focused on you. He then edged his hands down to the hem of his top and tore it off over his head, revealing to you his soft, peachy skin. His eyes continued to gaze at you, undressing you with his eyes, before physically undressing you. You stepped out of your terrible fitting boots and kicked them to the side, as he grabbed at the hem of your trousers, pulling you closer to him. You could, for the first time, feel his bare chest against yours. 

He then proceeded to take the hem of your trousers and pull them down to the floor, him following them down. You were left in nothing but your underwear and him in nothing but his underclothes. You felt exposed and yet comfortable and more than willing to strip fully. You felt a loose grip on the back of your legs, tracing your skin in whimsical patterns and Kylo moved up your body. As he did, he kissed your skin, sucking gently on it, leaving faint marks up your calves, and then your thighs, until he reached your lower abdomen, kissing the centre of it aggressively, gripping onto your hips. He then looked up at you as you hovered over him, biting your lip, overpowered by lust. His gaze remained on yours for a moment and then he grinned, pulling your panties down fast, leaving them loose at your ankles. You threw your head back against the wall at the feeling of the cold air meeting your bare cunt. 

"God," he said breathlessly, still kneeling on the floor. "You're so wet for me", he whispered against your abdomen. All you wanted more than anything at this moment was for him to touch you, to feel him in some way, any way. Your hand lowered to wrap around his dark locks, his hair threading through your fingers as you gripped onto it, applying slight pressure, forcing his against you.

"Eager thing," he said, the same way he had before, pushing back against your force of his head. He looked up at you, as you arched your back. "You want me to touch you, do you?" He was toying with you. Of course, you did. 

"Yes, Kylo," you said, breathless. 

"No, no, no," he said, moving hands up your inner thighs. "You need me to touch you, don't you." 

At this point, you'd say anything to get him closer to you. To feel some sort of relief on the tension building up on your cunt. "Yes, Kylo, yes. I need you. Please, touch me"

"Yes who?" he said, continuing to toy with you, his hands rubbing at your thighs, closing in on your pussy.

"Fucking hell. Yes, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, yes. I need you" you spat, looking down at him. 

"Very good" he replied, finally satisfied with his answer. He moved his face closer to your cunt, slowly, teasing you. You forced on his head again and this time he complied, pressing his lips against the lips of your cunt, using his tongue to manipulate you. You moaned, arching your back. He continued to use his lips, sucking on your cunt, tracing lines. Occasionally, when his tongue would draw a slick line along your clit, he'd hit 'that spot', causing you to arch your back each time, moaning, gripping his hair. Your nails dug into his scalp, and as they did, his fingers bruised your thighs, holding them still. "Stop moving," he said, the hot air of his breath only causing the wetness between your thighs to increase. He dove back in, swirling his tongue in circles, moving his hands up to spread you apart, allowing him easier access. And then he did it. His tongue thrusted into you, curling inside and pulling out. He did this a few more times, each time your legs buckling, but he continued to hold you up.

"Kylo!" you cried out, begging for more. You could feel yourself reaching your climax, the tension building higher and higher until it reached the height of a skyscraper. You could tell he'd realised this as he moved one hand even further up your thigh, using his thumb to rub circles around your clit, as his tongue continued to thrust into you, helping you reach your peak. You were so close. So close to being broken by his touch but then he pulled away, leaving you feeling empty, nothing left except his finger which continued to trace lines high up your inner thighs.

"Fuck, Kylo!" you shouted, frustrated. "What are you doing?"

He slowly got onto his feet, standing up, his hands following up your waist, guiding his hand round your back, leaving your hairs on end. He unclipped your bra effortlessly, causing it to slip down your arms, until it was completely off and you were completely, fully naked. His lips made their way to your neck leaving cool kisses against your skin. And then he whispered.

"When you finally cum for me, I need to hear you screaming my name. I need to feel you breaking underneath me." 

You nodded, knowing that was already going to happen without being told. 

"I'm gonna tell you when you can cum."

He speedily moved his hand down to your cunt, grasping it in his hand before thrusting two fingers in, curling inside of you. 

"And when I say so, you're gonna cum." His fingers curled again. "Hard." 

You nodded in compliance. 

His fingers slipped out of you, moving up until they reached your mouth. You instinctively took them into your mouth, sealing your lips around his fingers, tongue dancing around his fingertips. 

"Good girl" he whispered into your neck, leaving his fingers in your mouth as your tongue continued to dance around them. You stared into his eyes as his watched your lips squirm around his long fingers. 

He was aroused. You could feel his hard length against the slit of your pussy, aching for you and so you felt it was only best to relieve him.

You snaked your hand down his chest, tucking your hand under his underclothes and grasped at his cock. His eyes turned their attention to meet yours, his mouth falling open, letting out a loud moan. 

"Fuck," he said, before pulling his finger from your mouth to grip your hips. He crushed his lips against yours in a furious passion, his tongue swirling around your own. You continued working a his hard, aching cock, struggling against the fabric of his clothes as you tried to please him.

You pulled you hand out and undid the buttons on his trousers, and then watched as they fell to the ground, letting loose his cock. You'd somewhat managed to feel the size of him against your cunt and in your hand but you weren't expecting this. He was massive. For a moment, you trembled at the thought of taking him in, and then you found yourself thrilled, craving his cock, imagining it pushing into your core, filling you. You returned your hand to working at his length, wrapping your fingers around the girth, your hand moving up and down, twisting slightly. The harder you jerked him off, the more aggressively his tongue swirled around yours, and the harder he pushed against your hand, assisting you in providing his arousal. You could see him climax growing. You could feel his cock throbbing underneath the pressure from your hand. He was almost at his peak and then... you pulled away, a smug look growing on your face. Kylo's eyes opened again, his lips pulling away from yours in shock. 

"Ah ah ah" you said, a grin spreading from corner to corner of your lips. "We cum together, this time"

Kylo bit his lip, a small smirk growing on his face, looking down at your body, admiring your plump breasts, watching as your pussy throbbed. His hands made their way round your back, moving downwards until both hands were gripping your ass. And then he looked back up, a seriousness washing over him.

"Naughty girl" he said, harshly slapping your ass with one hand, the other making that suggestion again. You found yourself jumping back up into his arms, his hands gripping your thighs to hold you up. Your bodies were crushed against each other, only growing more connected as you began rolling your body so your cunt rubbed against his cock. His lips made their way down your neck as he carried you to the bed. 

He threw you onto it, your body bouncing back up off the soft plush mattress. It was almost as soft as the one in Kylo's room. You felt the weight of the mattress shift as Kylo climbed on top of you, throwing his leg over so they were on either side of your hips. His hands gripped the sheets on either side of your head, and you gripped the sheets in your hands, clawing at them. He continued kissing down your neck, making his way to your breasts, one hand kneading one, the other's nipple being sucked on by Kylo's pink lips. 

"Fuck" he moaned. Your hands moved up around his back, running them up and down. One hand gripped firmly on his hair while the other drew lines on his bare back. 

"Are you ready?" he asked, as if he had to. As if he felt obligated to. 

"Yes," you replied, arching your back, in an attempt to lure him towards you. 

"Good." He guided his cock towards your cunt slowly, the head of his dick toying at your entrance, before he thrusted himself into you. You gripped his back, nails digging in. His hand moved from guiding his cock, to wrapping his fingers loosely around your neck. You felt your pussy swallowing his massive cock, your walls expanding with each thrust to take in his size. At first, it hurt, but then you became immersed in lust and ecstasy as you found your cunt tightening around his cock as he pulled himself out before pushing harshly back in. He was merciless and you were't complaining. You moaned, rolling your head from side to side. Kylo's head was nuzzled into your neck. You could feel his moans being silenced as he pressed his lips against your shoulder harder with each thrust. 

Your climax was ascending higher as higher. You could feel yourself on the verge of breaking and then you remembered his orders. 

"I need to hear you screaming my name. I need to hear you breaking underneath me." 

You also remembered your words. 

"We cum together"

You held onto your need to release, tightening your cunt around his cock each time he pushed himself into you. The grip on your neck grew tighter as your fingers pressure on his back grew harder. You knew you'd both end up with bruises. You were so ready. So prepared for him to spill into you. So prepared to break for him. And then he said it. He gave his order, whispering into your neck.

"Cum for me"

You complied with orders, finally feeling your release, convulsing around him as he continued to pump into you. You felt his hot seed spill into you, leaving you feeling whole. He'd adhered to your requests. It was only right you followed his, and you did.

"Kylo" you screamed. "Fuck! Kylo."

"Yes!" he said, breathlessly urging you on even more. 

"Kylo! I - fuck - Kylo!" 

Your back arched as you reached the end of your orgasm, feeling your cum release. Kylo fell onto you, exhausted, breathing heavily into your neck. You stayed pretty still for a few moments, taking each other in, before he pulled out, leaving you leaking his and your combined juices.

He rolled onto your side, propping himself up with his elbow. The single bed was small so you were slightly cramped together but you liked it. You liked being so close to him, feeling him there, near you. The other of Kylo's hands ghosted circles and patterns on your chest, and down and up your stomach. You continued staring up at the ceiling. 

"So thats why you came here then, huh?" you said, a small laugh escaping you, turning your head to face him. He was gazing down at you, an adoration shining in his dark brown eyes. He grinned.

"Actually, I came to congratulate you on your new job but I uh..." He looked you up and down. "got distracted". You giggled in response. He lowered himself down to kiss your forehead, his soft lips so gentle against your skin.

"Lie with me for a moment?" you asked quietly, knowing he probably had more important places to be. 

"Yeah, of course" he said turning you onto your side so that he was spooning you. You closed your eyes, taking this moment in. His strong hand guided its way up and down your curves, before ending up in your hair, tucking small hairs behind your ear. 

"I'd lie here forever if I could" he whispered into your ear, causing you to smile, gleefully. Your eyes opened wide as a grin formed across your face and as you opened them, you noticed something, a window. A window?

"A window!" you said, jumping up from the bed, leaving Kylo's embrace. You'd never had a rook with a window before. It made you feel somewhat free. You walked over to the window, completely ignoring you nakedness. You could hear Kylo shuffling around behind you, probably getting dressed, but your attention only drifted for a second. Your focus was on the window and the window only. Forget about the hot guy, who you'd just had amazing sex with, lying in your bed.

Suddenly, you heard a zoom sounding coming from somewhere, growing louder.

"Watch out" Kylo shouted, throwing a t shirt over your head. You stuck your arms and head through the holes and watched as a pod flew past your window. Shit! You'd almost just been caught naked in front of a half naked Kylo Ren. His arms wrapped around you, head burrowing into the crevice between your shoulder and neck. 

"Do you like it?" he asked, hinting it was of his own doing. 

"You did this?" He nodded.

"But how could you have requested this room so quickly. How could you have" - you were cut off by your realisation. "You knew!" you shouted turning to face him. 

He nodded again, silent.

"But you said you didn't know why Hux wanted to talk to me" you said, smiling. 

"I wanted you to hear it from him." he said, knowing how much your job meant to you, how much the recognition from a superior officer would mean you. I mean of course you were getting a HELL OF A LOT recognition from one particular superior officer but this was different. You smiled with glee and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"Thank you" you said before rolling onto the tip of your toes to meet his lips. This feeling was amazing. As your lips parted, your foreheads met, leaning against each other, his hands on your waist. You gazed into his eyes, your focus fully returned to him. You wanted to stay into this moment forever, hold onto this feeling forever. This feeling was more. More of what? You weren't sure. Just more. Better. Good. Perfect.


	8. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the time he left, it was around midnight. The ships internal lights that lit the halls had been dimmed and the noise of heavy working machinery had become hushed. You were absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally.

Hiya! So you're getting a name. You can choose your name or you can pick from the ones I've put down below. The idea behind the names is Snoke didn't like having to remember everyone's letters and number, cause he's fucking lazy, so he gave everyone names he could remember. In my version of the story, he names his guards after planets but if you want you can choose something different or use your own name!

SULLUST (LUST FOR SHORT LATER ON - YOULL KNOW WHEN)

CORELLIA (CORA/CORE FOR SHORT LATER ON - YOULL KNOW WHEN)

KUAT

MALASTARE (MALA/STAR FOR SHORT LATER ON - YOULL KNOW WHEN)

NABOO

ENDOR

JAKKU

D'QAR

RATTATAK (RATTA FOR SHORT LATER ON - YOULL KNOW WHEN)

FELUCIA

ITHOR

TATOOINE

GEONOSIS (GEO FOR SHORT LATER ON - YOULL KNOW WHEN)

Enjoy the chapter!

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That night, you and Kylo held each other, grasping onto his embrace. You wanted it to be infinite, but unfortunately, it couldn't be. Minutes passed of your embrace, feeling like mere seconds before he was gone. He got changed and put his helmet on, whilst you sat on the bed watching him. Then he left, leaving the room feeling empty and cold.

By the time he left, it was around midnight. The ships internal lights that lit the halls had been dimmed and the noise of heavy working machinery had become hushed. You were absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally. All you had wanted for the last few days had been a goddamn shower. You closed the windows curtains, not wanting to risk exposing yourself again and made your ways into the bathroom. You'd never had your own bathroom. All stormtroopers had to share one bathroom among 8 and the elite guards (as you once were) had to share among 3. Your former position was better than most. With only 3 to a bathroom you hardly ever overlapped someone else's bathroom schedule. It was fine. It worked. But this! You felt like you had your own privacy.

When you walked into the bathroom, the lights automatically came up. The floor tiles were a solid dark black, with flecks of grey throughout. The walls had a pattern of light and dark grey tiles. There was a large shower with stretched across the length of the entire wall, in which the shower head was a sleek matte black. In front of you stood the sink and the toilet, above which was a mirror. Two mirrors! You could feel your obsession with vanity on the rise.

You stood in front of the mirror with nothing but Kylo's baggy shirt on. In a way, you didn't want to take it off. You wanted to have a piece of him with you, the warmth of him. However, at the same time, you really really needed to clean yourself up. You lifted the black t-shirt up over your head, leaving you naked, and messily folded it before throwing it into the washing basket in the corner of the room. Your focus returned to the mirror, the size of it, covering half the wall, causing you to constantly catch your own appearance in the reflection. You caught glimpses of different parts of your body. You were unsure as to how your skin had bruised so quickly. Kylo's grip had left marks around your neck. His grip on you must've been stronger than you thought, but you weren't surprised you didn't notice. You were so caught up in the ecstasy of the moment, he could've cut across your stomach and you probably wouldn't have noticed.

You moved your hand up until it reached the side of your neck. Your fingers ghosted across where Kylo had touched you, and you were reminded of him, the hunger in his eyes as he thrust harshly into you. Your hands then found their position on your waist, as you ran your grips up and down your curves just as he did, being reminded of how safe you felt in his hold. There were no bruises there, but light scratches from where his nails had dug into you to hold you still. You admired his dominance. You kept your hands at your waist for a moment before following further down, running one hand down your right inner thigh, remembering how he'd touched you. There was a bruise forming there too, but it only served as a reminder of the high you'd felt.

You managed to bring yourself out of your memories, rejoining the real world. You opened the glass shower door and stepped it. You stood directly under the showerhead as you turned on the water. At first, the heat of it scolded you, but rather than turning it down, you just accepted it, allowing the heat of the water to wash away days of dirt and the liquids of sex. Steam filled the room, condensation building speedily on the mirror. You filled your hands with heaps of soap and ran your hands across your skin, every inch of it, making sure no spot was missed. You then proceeded to lead your head further under the running water. You washed it with shampoo, followed by conditioner, running your hands through your silky hair. You stayed in the shower longer than you should of, maybe 30 minutes or so. Finally, you got out, wrapping a white robe around yourself, and putting your hair up into a turban with a white fluffy towel.

It was now 1 in the morning. You'd spent the last half an hour sat in front of the window, the large window showing you the expanse of the galaxy. It seemed stupid but that window meant a lot to you. Not only was it a kind gesture from Kylo but a reminder of your new-found freedom and gained respect. Suddenly, distracting you from the view, a bright light appeared behind you, the light casting across the ceiling, slightly illuminating the room, alerting you of its presence. You turned around to find that your datapad, resting on your bedside table was the source of the light. As you walked over to the datapad, the light dimmed until it was off completely. You picked it up and turned it on to discover you'd received a notification.

It read: '8 am: Please report to the training facilities where you will meet your trainees. Their first lesson commences at this time. Be prepared for training. - Hux'

8 am! It wasn't early or anything but it was already 1 am. You were going to be exhausted. Be prepared?! Prepared to teach, with no warning. What was this guy on?!?

After sliding into bed, under the soft duvet, you laid awake for most of the night, attempting to structure out some kind of lesson plan in your head. You eventually fell asleep at 3 am.

That morning, you awoke at 6:30, as tired as you'd been when you fell asleep. 3 and a half hours of sleep was less than satisfactory. You dragged yourself out of bed, pushing yourself up off the mattress, and walked, arms slumped, into the bathroom. You took in your reflection in the mirror, eyes being drawn to the dark circles surrounding your eyes and then you noticed it - the bruises. They'd taken a more solid form now. Kylo's fingerprints were protruding on your neck. How were you going to explain this?You proceeded to wash your face gently with water in an attempt to wake yourself. Then, you cleaned your teeth, brushed your hair and threw it up into some sort of loose braided bun on the back of your head, pulling out pieces at the front to frame your face. You looked slightly more presentable but were unsure how to fix the indents on your neck.

Quickly, you sprinted over to the tall dresser in your bedroom, in search of something to cover up the bruises. When you pulled open the drawer, you were met with nothing but black clothing, the only adventurous thing to the clothing being the different types of fabric. You weren't 100% sure of what you were grabbing at seeing as everything looked the same. The first thing you pulled out was a long black silk dress with lace detailing around the hem. Not exactly work attire. You folded it carefully and placed it back before diving back into the drawer. During your venture into the dresser, you managed to find a pair of tight-fitting black trousers; a fitted black turtleneck (perfect for covering the bruising, though a slightly obvious move to hide it); a strange black woollen blazer/jacket item and a leather belt with metal edges as detailing. It was always freezing cold so you decided it was probably best to go with the jacket on top. You then opened the very top drawer in search of underwear. You found it strange how good the first order had been at supplying you with fashionable clothing. You reached your hand into the drawer and pulled out a black lacy bra with silk linings, followed by a matching pair of panties. The more you considered it, the more you thought Kylo had something to do with this. You chuckled quietly to yourself before placing the fancy lingerie back. You then managed to find a more suitable set of plain matching cotton underwear which you decided to go with. After closing the drawer, you threw the clothing onto your bed in preparation to change but just before turning around, you noticed a shoe rack next to the dresser. On it sat a pair of kneehigh sleek boots with a minor heel to them. You grabbed for them and proceeded to change.

After changing, you walked to the mirror. You looked incredible. Smart and sophisticated. Perfect for work. And yet somewhat sexy and alluring - just in case you ran into Kylo. You laughed as you noticed that with the turtleneck you looked somewhat like a sexy female version of Hux. After a spasm of laughter, you shook the giggles away and stood up straight, staring at your reflection as you went over the lesson plan in your head, adjusting the hair framing your face as you did so. Taking a deep heavy breath, you turned to reach for you datapad before leaving your quarters.

As you walked down the long halls, on your 20-minute walk to the training facilities, you strode with confidence. At one point, you walked past a group of stormtroopers, 8 or 10 of them in formation, and they nodded to you out of respect. It felt like you were somewhat exposed out of uniform but you liked it. You felt like they had to respect you and not just your position although your new position was pretty elite.

After 20-minutes of walking, you eventually made it to the doors of the training room. You'd remembered when you trained here when you were only 16. Standing at the doors felt daunting but you were prepared. You pushed one of the tall double doors open and strode in, the sound of your heeled boots hitting the ground alerting the teen trainees of your presence. The heavy door swung shut behind you, demanding silence. Suddenly the busy noise fell silent as all the trainees ran in a straight line in front of you in age order.

They were all very young. You could tell by their faces. During the training process, they're taught without a uniform so they can learn without the restriction. They don't have names either, just letters and numbers. When you became Snoke's guard you were given a name. Yours was Y/N. They were so so young. The first order does that. They take them when they're children and train them when their teens. That way, when they're teens and just starting to form their own opinion and their own perspective on life, they tend to form their perspective in favour of the first order. You somewhat pitied them, felt sympathetic for them but at the same time, you knew your job. Your job was to train them for the first order and you certainly weren't going to let their young innocent faces get in the way of that.

"Good morning! My name is Y/N, and I will be your new mentor. I will train you in the art of battle and you will learn." You paced back and forth up and down the line. "I expect you to become one of the best eras of fighters the first order has ever seen and with my training, I know you can get there. I will not tolerate any sort of behaviour that may be considered disruptive to your training. You know the rules: no backchat; no physical harm to any other trainee; no relationships with other trainees and finally no disrespect towards your mentor. Am I understood?" They all nodded simultaneously. "Good. Then let's begin!"

For the first half of the day, you spent most of the time doing hand on hand combat, teaching the trainees how to hit, kick and defend themselves. They weren't terrible, some were good, but they definitely were not praetorian guard good enough. This was going to take time. A lot of time.

At 2 pm you decided they deserved a break. You all went to lunch before returning ready to teach and learn again. It might have sounded like you were being quite strict on them, but you had to. The longer this took, the longer Kylo would be without his own guard, not that he needed one. You were stood watching two trainees in hand on hand combat when you were reminded of Kylo, distracted by him so easily. It was so inappropriate but you couldn't help yourself. You thought about his lips against yours; his hands running down your back; his fingers running through your hair; his -

And just like that, your thoughts left as quickly as they'd come. You hadn't noticed the door opening but you sure as hell heard it shut. The loud closing was followed by the sound of Kylo's boots hitting the floor at a slow, steady, confident pace. You turned around the see him walking closer to you. You were motionless. In here he was your superior and in his mask he was intimidating. Then you felt a relief on your head. You hadn't noticed to pressure begin but you knew from the release that he'd been in your mind, searching through your thoughts which meant he'd heard you. Oh god! He's heard you!


	9. Prove Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's enough," you said loudly. The rest of the class was certainly going to be intrigued as to how you found the confidence to demand something of Kylo Ren, but you didn't care at this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There's some violence in this one and some violence comes to the reader and not in like a sexy way. However, it is addressed at the end. If you feel uncomfortable please do not read or skip to the end to learn what happened in the notes at the bottom.

"Up!" you commanded your trainees. They all stood up from being sat on the mats and the two engaged in combat quickly stopped, standing straight. They all then ran into their line in age order. All the while, Kylo continued to stride closer to you, his long robe creating a breeze as it swayed with his stride. 

You straightened up. No matter how comfortable you'd been with each other the previous night, this was different. You had to be professional. "Good afternoon, Supreme Leader," you said respectively. He nodded in response, acknowledging your greeting. You were stiff as a board.

"I've come to observe training," he said, addressing the trainees, facing them, asserting his authority. You turned to face the same direction as him. Kylo continued walking closer to you as he looked down at the trainees, all of them trembling at his presence. He moved closer and closer and closer. Clearly he hadn't got the memo on professionalism in the workplace. Or maybe he was so enticed by your thoughts he'd heard that he couldn't help himself. He was now stood just off of your right shoulder, intrudingly close. He continued with his short speech.

"As you know, a select few of you, the best of you, will become part of my personal guard. I have the final say on who makes the cut, so I thought it only best that I observe you in action. I will continue to attend your training sessions regularly. I expect only the best." 

_What?_ He was going to watching you teach, constantly making sure you were doing well. You were anxious. You had to prove your worth, prove you deserved your new position. That anxiety soon melted away at the thought of getting to spend more time with Kylo, even if it was in a work environment. 

"Well. Get back to it" he proceeded to say, still hovering over your shoulder. 

"You heard him." You looked down at your datapad, at the list of trainees. You hadn't learnt all of their IDs yet, though you planned on it. You found two random IDs among to long list of numbers and letters. "GI 720 and NA 832! On the mat!" you shouted at the line of trainees. Two trainees stepped out of the line, both on the furthest ends of the line. They were the youngest and the oldest. You couldn't put them up against each other. One was the oldest boy in the class, maybe 17/18, and the other was the youngest boy in the class, maybe 12. The first order trained from the age of 12 upwards. The younger ones aren't allowed into battle until they're 16 so they train for longer and eventually become the best. The older ones have to work harder than anyone because they're more likely to be chosen as an elite guard. 

You looked back at your datapad to pick out someone else. Someone could get hurt with this age, height and build difference. "Uh okay. Let me find someone else."

"No," said the loud, monotonous voice behind you. "War doesn't discriminate and neither will we. Into position".

The two trainees both moved over to the mat, at the front of the room, the youngest shaking in his boots and he walked over. The rest of the class turned to face the front, watching as the two trainees prepared, stretching. They sat on the floor, prepared to observe the fight. The class was now becoming aware of the threat and risk involved with the job. If they thought this was bad, they weren't prepared for real battle. 

Whilst the rest of the class were distracted, you turned over your right shoulder to face Kylo, his mask looking directly forward, prepared to observe. 

"Sir," you said respectively, quietly, in an attempt to get his attention without alerting the whole class. You looked up at him, into his blank visor across his mask, pleading with him to listen to you. He must've heard. Kylo looked down at you, only his head turning slightly, his body still facing the front of the room. He didn't say anything but you knew he'd heard you. "I don't think this is the right decision. It's their first day and you're putting the youngest and oldest up against each other? Someone could get injured." You pleaded with your eyes and words, hoping he'd come to his senses and understand, but he didn't. He returned his gaze to the front of the classroom, almost completely ignoring your advice.

"No one's going to get hurt. They're aware of the rules," he said quieter.

"Yeah, well accidents happen."

"Nothing is going to happen," he said sure of himself. You, on the other hand, weren't 100% sure. Nonetheless, you couldn't argue with Kylo anymore. His decision was made and he wasn't budging.

"Right!" you said, turning to face the front. "On 3." You took a deep breath, bracing for something to go wrong. "1..." The two trainees stepped onto the mat. "2..." They took their defensive stance, the oldest, towering over the young boy. You weren't ready. You hesitated, glancing back up at Kylo, who was looking back down at you. You couldn't say it, but he could. 

"3!" Kylo shouted, facing the two trainees again. The pair were hesitant, slowly edging closer to each other. They spent a few moments edging around the mat, eyes focused on each other. Occasionally, one would step closer into the circle they were creating as they edged around the mat. The oldest was intimidating, however, the youngest wasn't backing down. He stood as tall as he could.

"I didn't come to observe the two of you walking around a mat. If you're going to be on my guard, prove yourself" Kylo echoed across the room. The oldest boy looked up at Kylo and nodded. You admired his confidence in giving Kylo eye contact, but he shouldn't have done that. He knows his place. Even with his expressions completely covered by his mask, you could tell Kylo was taken aback by this. After the oldest nodded, he turned back to meet his opponent and then he jumped in, wrapping his arm around the young boy's neck, restraining him. The goal was to get your opponent to the ground and the youngest was already halfway there, his knees buckling under the pressure at his throat. This was going to be a quick fight, you thought to yourself. 

You stood there still, shaking, fingers fiddling at the hem of your jacket, biting your lip out of anxiety. You were so worried something was going to happen. You knew this was your job but you still felt sympathetic for the pair. The oldest didn't want to fight the young boy and the young boy was scared. You could tell. You could feel their pain easily, seeing as you'd been in that position before. Suddenly, there was a weight on your mind. Kylo had found is way in, and the vulnerability of your thoughts did nothing to block him out. Your mind was too focused on the fight. Kylo continued to weave his way through your thoughts as you trembled. He found your anxiety, feeling your worry, and moved his leather hand to rest at the small of your back. It was like he was trying to comfort you. You knew he couldn't, seeing as the display of generosity was already risky enough, but you wanted nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around you and hold you until the fight was over. 

Suddenly, your thoughts of Kylo and you were erased as you observed the young boy on the mat push up against the oldest boy's arm, breaking free of his grip. The eldest stepped back, shocked by young boys sudden display of strength. The young boy stood up breathing heavy, before charging at the eldest, pushing into his waist. The eldest bent over, attempting to grab to youngest boys legs, to pull them out from under him, but he wouldn't move. He had a strong footing on the floor, his stance almost impossible to break. The eldest stook back up and began pushing at youngest boys shoulders. He started pushing harder and harder, and the youngest was beginning to fall. His legs were pushing back as hard as possible in an attempt to stay standing. 

He was almost at the ground, squatting just above the mat when he noticed his opportunity. He made use of his short height and used it as a power. With a lower centre of gravity, his legs were strong enough you push up just above so he could move higher until his arms were at the eldest boys knees. The youngest reached behind the eldest's knees and pulled forwards, causing the oldest's boy legs to buckle and he fell onto the floor. The youngest rolled on top of him, physically sitting on the eldest's chest. It was comical, a childish fight, but his move worked. The eldest was pinned to the floor for three seconds, before the youngest stood up, looking down at his opponent revelling in success with heavy breaths. 

You chuckled quietly out of shock. You looked up at Kylo who looked equally as taken aback. He removed his hand from resting behind your back, understanding that you now felt fine, shocked but you definitely weren't concerned anymore. 

The young boy averted his gaze from the oldest boy and turned to face Kylo, eyes looking down, arms by his side. There was a long silence as the rest of the class sat in admiration of the young boy's strength and resilience but that silence was eventually broken. As if it was happening in slow motion, the oldest boy stood up, an aggressive look on his face. Anger had flooded him due to his defeat. The youngest turned to acknowledge him but was met with a violent punch across the head. 

A wave of concern washed across you. You looked up at Kylo and he looked down at you before charging forward, walking through the line of trainees sat on the floor. Kylo strode speedily up the mat and as he did his arm outstretched in front of him. Within seconds, the oldest boy was flying across the room, his back hitting against the wall. Kylo was suffocating him, though you barely acknowledged it. 

You ran down down the path that Kylo had followed, to the mat, before getting down on your knees to meet the young boy. He was lying on the ground unconscious. You cradled his head in one hand, the other hand rolling his body towards you in an attempt to comfort him, despite him not even being aware of it. 

Kylo continued to strangle the boy. "You know the rules!" he shouted at him. "No injury to your fellow trainees!". His grip tightened. 

"I'm sorry," the boy whimpered between his sharp, short breaths. 

He was going to kill him at this rate. You were pissed too but nobody deserved death because of this, especially not a teenage boy. You moved the young boy off of you and stood up quickly running over to Kylo, standing by his side, staring up at him. 

"That's enough," you said loudly. The rest of the class was certainly going to be intrigued as to how you found the confidence to demand something of Kylo Ren, but you didn't care at this moment. After hearing your plea, he looked down at you, acknowledging you, but ignoring you. He looked back up at the eldest and his grip tightened even more.

"Stop!" you screamed at him, to no avail. His fury had filled his mind. He wasn't listening to you.

So, you ran out in front, standing in between him and the boy. His gaze looked down at you. You thought he'd stop, but he didn't. With his other hand, he threw you to the side of the room, your back hitting the wall before you flopped to the floor. How could he do that? You gathered your strength and ran back in between Kylo and the boy. Kylo didn't even look at you before a force grip appeared around your throat. You were thrown against the wall, next to the boy, both of Kylo's hands suffocating each of you. 

"Sir," you managed to whimper out. This wasn't like Kylo. This wasn't him. This was anger and hatred, violence and fury. This wasn't him. He didn't listen when you said sir, so you tried again. "Supreme Leader! Please!" you said in between breaths. He looked up at you, loosening his grip slightly. You were breaking him down. You could see him becoming less angry, but then he looked at the boy again and the fury returned. His pushed his right arm out further, tightening his grip on the boy, crushing him under the power of the force. The boy was moments away from death and there was nothing you could do to stop him. With one last attempt, you tried to find Kylo through all the pain and anger. You closed your eyes, hoping he was still in your mind. 

"Kylo," you whispered quietly under your breath, the name louder in your mind. You opened your eyes wide. Kylo looked up at you, your eyes watering, gazing at him, begging him to stop... and he did. Finally. He stopped. He pulled his arms in and you and the boy fell to the floor, the two of your gasping for breath. Kylo looked down at his hands with confusion. He looked hurt, hurt by himself, by his own actions.

You managed to find your breath, hunched over on the floor and then with a raspy voice you said "You two." You pointed at the oldest girl and second oldest boy. "Take them both to the med bay". The pair stood up and ran over, the girl going to the oldest boy and wrapping his arm around her neck, propping him up to walk to the med bay. The second oldest boy went over to the young boy still lying unconscious on the mat and scooped him up into his arms, carrying him out of the training facility. 

Slowly, you stood up, your legs weak with the weight of your body on them. You leaned against the wall, finding stability in it and looked at Kylo Ren with concern but also anger in your eyes. He was avoiding your stare, continuing to look down.

"Class dismissed," you shouted as you continued to stare at Kylo. "I want you all here at 9 am tomorrow morning prepared for blaster training. Your homework is to practice your kicks."

They all stood up slowly, watching you. They stood still for a moment, probably out of shock and confusion. They appeared concerned for your wellbeing like they didn't want to leave you alone with Kylo, but you needed your privacy. You had some things to say to him.

"Out!" you shouted, and they all scurried off through the door of the training facility, the loud door announcing their final departure. You and Kylo were left alone with nothing else other than a deafening silence flooding the room. Your gaze was locked on him.

"Look at me" you demanded. He kept his gaze averted, looking at the floor. 

You began walking over to him, well, more like stumbling. You felt the force assist you in your movement but you discouraged it, but then again you were afraid that if it left, you'd fall over. You moved closer, breathing heavily, still trying to catch your breath.

"Look at me!" you shouted, now within feet of him. This time he listened looking up at you. You hoped he could see the frustration in your eyes, the anger you expressed towards him at this moment in time. "Take off that ridiculous mask," you insisted, and he did, moving his shaky hands up to unlock the latches on his mark. With the sound of air being released, the mask was unlocker, balancing on Kylo's head. Slowly he lifted it up and as he did he tilted his head down. He held the mask in one hand before dropping it onto the floor, causing a loud clang to echo through the room. It startled you. He still wasn't looking at you. He refused to let you see his face and you weren't sure why. Maybe he felt ashamed, maybe still filled with anger. You weren't sure.

"Kylo," you said softly but strictly. He looked up at you. His eyes were watery. He hadn't been crying. You weren't sure Kylo Ren could cry. But, his eyes were red and puffy like he was upset. You could see it in his eyes that he regretted doing what he did. Maybe he didn't regret what he did to the boy but he certainly regretted how he hurt you.

"I'm sorry," he said. His words were heartfelt and sincere. You didn't doubt that for a second. You weren't about the forget what he did, but you were beginning to forgive him. You both knew too well what being alone did to a person. You had both grown up in similar situations, forced to do nothing but fight and forget all memories of real life. You were taught to show no humanity, to behave like a human-robot. You held his gaze for a while, before walking forward to cup his cheek gently in the palm of your small hand. His hand covered yours softly, holding you against his cheek.

"It's okay," you whispered. Looking into his eyes, you found compassion and kindness and caring nature. That was the Kylo you were growing to know, more than just a mask with a gift. You rolled onto the tips of your toes, before moving your lips to meet his. Your kiss was long and soft. He was gentle with you. You placed your hand on his chest, gripping onto his robes, pulling him closer to you. He looked down at your action and smirked. "You're not angry?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm angry. But I also understand." 

He smiled and returned his lips to yours, running his hands down your waist until he found your belt. He pulled his lips away and chuffed.

"So I see you ignored my other options of clothing."

"The dress?" you asked, a chuckle in your voice. "Not exactly work attire."

"I agree," he responded. "But, I'll find you a use for that dress," he said as though he had a plan. He moved his lips down your neck, kissing softly, nibbling at your skin. And then he whispered in a sexy, alluring tone "And a use for that underwear."

You looked up into his eyes and a cheeky grin formed across your face. You threaded his black, soft, sleek hair through your fingers and kissed him stronger with more passion, desperate for him. Then you moved downwards, Kylo's eyes following you as you moved closer to the floor. 

His eyes closed bracing for something but opened quickly when he felt your presence jump right up. He was surprised to find that in your hands you held his mask. You looked at him and noticed he seemed somewhat offended that you hadn't - *cough cough - pleased him. 

"Not just yet," you said, leaving his satisfaction unresolved. You moved your hands up and placed his mask over his head, giving him a quick peck before completely concealing his face. You then locked the latches and grabbed his hand, spinning him on his feels, dragging him across the room. 

"What are you doing?" he said, his voice now muffled slightly by the mask. 

"You'll see," you shot back, looking over your shoulder at him, giving him fuck eyes. You chuckled to yourself, continuing to drag him to the door. You released his grip and stood up straight, knowing that once you entered the hallway, professionalism would have to kick back in. 

"Ready?" you asked looking over at him. 

"Ready," he responded. You returned your eyes to the door, reaching for the handle. Then, Kylo gave you a light slap on the ass. That came out of nowhere. You looked over your shoulder, back at him, surprised. 

"Now I'm ready," he said, before gesturing for you to open the door. You giggled turning back, opening the door, walking out into the hallway. Kylo Ren was cheekier than you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: There was a training fight with two trainees that got out of hand. Kylo punished a trainee but got too caught up in it. You got involved and were injured but at the end, you talk it through and alls okay. Okay?


End file.
